Welcome Scaries
It's Sunday Night
My dear friends, so many of us experience dreadful foreboding, creeping malaise, and/or just a little bit of nervousness on Sunday nights, in anticipation of the coming work and school week and all we have to do. That’s why I’ve decided to offer a Welcome Scaries newsletter on the 2nd Sunday of each month. My intention is to help us bring kindness to our Scaries, instead of fighting with them, resenting them, or trying to get rid of them.
This idea comes from an old Buddhist story that isn’t found in the canonical Buddhist texts. It’s often told by teacher Tara Brach like this:
The Buddha's awakening to a larger reality came through as he sat this night under what's called the Bodhi tree – the Bodhi is the tree of awakening. And, through the night, the god Mara who represents, anger, greed, pride, aversion, passion, jealousy – all the forces that can take over and create misery – attacked him.
So there were arrows, and flames of light, and spears, and so on coming at him. And so he sat through the night and practiced a quality of presence so that all of the attacks, each of the weapons, turned into a flower petal. So, by the morning star when it rose, there was a heap of petals in front of him. But interestingly, Mara did not just vanish in the Buddha's lifetime – Mara would keep appearing. And so the Buddha would be teaching in a field somewhere – a lot of people gathered – and Mara would start lurking in the outskirts and the Buddha's loyal attendant would be freaked out and he'd say, "Oh my god, Mara's here. What are we going to do? The shadow has come." But the Buddha would say, "Chill. It's okay," and then what he'd do is go right to Mara and say, "I see you Mara. Come, let's have tea."
And what those two communications really say – "I see you, Mara," is mindfulness. I see you. I get, in this moment, what's happening. Okay, there's fear, there's anger. So it's this capacity we each have to pause and just recognize, "This is what's here right now." It's an honest recognition. So he said, "I see you, Mara," and that's considered the first wing of presence – seeing what's here. And then the second, "Come, let's have tea," is, instead of fighting what's here, there's making space for it, there's getting to know it. It's a quality of heartspace that lets the life be just as it is in the moment.
—Tara Brach, on the Tim Ferris podcast
Just like Buddha and Mara, we’ll make space for our Sunday Scaries too. You can do this simply by acknowledging when the Scaries are arising in you. Then close your eyes and get still and quiet. Put away your devices just for a few minutes, and say to yourself, “I see you Scaries, and I’m not going to leave you.” Keep breathing and repeating the phrase as needed.
In this monthly offering, I’ll share links, photos, and stories to gladden our minds, inspire our hearts, and help us connect with wonder and mystery — researchers suggest that feeling awe helps us gain perspective and feel less stress, which I know is true because I love being humbled by how much humans don’t know about our world and our lives. I hope you’ll contribute too, by sharing your experiences, stories and links in the comments, so we can help each create the conditions for an easy and happy Monday. Let’s get started:
Tibet House NYC has an extraordinary exhibit of monumental photographs, (hanging from floor to ceiling, completely covering the walls of the center), of Alchi monastery, a 900 year old Tibetan shrine in a remote area of the Himalayans. The images have never been seen by the public, and the photographer, Peter van Ham, needed special permission from the Dalai Lama to document the original murals. Untouched for centuries but in danger of being ruined by neglect, the paintings are vibrant and masterful. The exhibit closes in July.
I just watched the blockbuster Indian epic, Ponniyin Selvan 1, on Amazon Prime. If you liked Game of Thrones, (but maybe like me you weren’t so thrilled with its depictions of rape and torture), I think you’ll enjoy this one. I like long movies (it’s 3+ hours) but if you don’t you might want to watch it in two parts. Ponniyin Selvan 2 is in theaters now, though I’ll probably wait to see it at home when it’s available to stream so I can cuddle with my cats while I watch.
This talk by Lama Tsering Everest, The Endless Cycle of Becoming is such a simple and concise explanation of how we cause ourselves so much harm by our constant striving and how we can stop it and let peace and wisdom arise in our minds. I really appreciate her accessible teaching and clarity and I think you will too, whether you’re into Buddhism or not.
I 💜 unexplained phenomenon. Researchers at Sandia National Laboratories have been sending solar-powered balloon flights with microphones to capture the sounds in the stratosphere, but along with the expected human and environmental noises, they detected something they are not able to identify. “There are mysterious infrasound signals that occur a few times per hour on some flights, but the source of these is completely unknown,” said scientist Daniel Bowman. Learn more and listen to the sounds for yourself in this Business Insider article.
Learn more about how to meet Sunday Scaries and other difficult emotions by taking care of them with kindness in Thich Nhat Hanh’s book, Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames.
Okay friends, that’s a wrap for our first Sunday Scaries newsletter! I’m glad you’re here for it! Please consider it a work-in-progress and share your suggestions on what we could include or improve to make Sunday a restful and pleasant day (and night).
May you be gentle with yourself.
May your week be easy.
May your work benefit all beings and bless your life.
Metta+++,
Kim✨
Thank you Kimberly! Brilliant idea, I look forward to The Scaries Sunday reading.