Welcome Scaries #17
Because it's Sunday Night Again 🫤
Welcome Scaries started as a monthly letter sent on the first Sunday of each month because so many of us experience nervousness on Sunday nights in anticipation of the coming week and all we have to do. The intention is to offer your difficult feelings—your Scaries—kindness, instead of fighting with them, resenting them, or trying to get rid of them. This idea of befriending your feelings comes from an old story about how the Buddha invited his enemy to tea rather than trying to defeat him.
→ Read all the Sunday Scaries in the Meditation with Heart archive!
For me, the entire Labor Day weekend — which celebrates the end of summer in the United States — is wonderful, but comes with an undercurrent of excitement and dread. I love the long and languorous openness of a few days without plans in a quiet NYC. But when I remember what’s coming up—I feel a girdle tightening around my navel. Anticipating autumn classes, family obligations, and the plans and promos for a new book, my thoughts and plans proliferate. Soon I’m swept away into stories of failure or success, and worries about change and loss.
Does this sound familiar? It probably does. If you’re like me, you didn’t learn to turn towards your struggles and bring kindness and love to yourself — maybe because you were taught that being a good person means being nice to everyone but yourself and ignoring your stress, sadness, or frustration. But a truly good person is nice to everyone—friends, foes, strangers, and especially yourself.
So I encourage you, as I always do, to pay close and loving attention to yourself. Whenever you feel disconnected from your body, lost in stories and fantasies, or numb to what’s happening right now, stop what you’re doing. Feel your feet on the floor and the way your clothing feels on your skin. Notice your feelings and let yourself be — don’t try to fix or change or ignore anything about your experience. Put your hand on your heart and breathe. Do this often — at least every hour — and you’ll be surprised how much friendlier you’ll feel towards yourself and everyone else too.
It’s a joy to share these teachings with you and I’m so gratified for your interest and encouragement, my friends. Thank you for subscribing, you’re amazing 🌸. And now for a few positive and useful links. May they be of benefit:
→ Double Wonderfulness: I love Elizabeth Gilbert’s weekly Letters from Love substack, where each week she writes a Letter from Love to herself, and invites a guest to do the same. This morning I was twirling with glee because this week’s guest is Sharon Salzberg!! I really couldn’t be more delighted and grateful to both of them. I hope you’ll read it and write your own Letter from Love too. Read it here. (I share my Letter from Love on my Substack Notes, you can read them here.)
→ Kidney Donations are Safer than Ever: Medical science has improved the outcomes with laparoscopic surgery and other new techniques so if you’ve ever considered becoming a living organ donor, now is the time. Story here.
→ Maybe the Best Thing You Can Do for Yourself: Insight Meditation Society in MA offers a three month silent meditation retreat every autumn, and the next one begins soon. You can participate for the full retreat or for six weeks. It’s taught by amazing teachers and if you can make the time for it, it’s a real opportunity to understand your mind and your heart. (I’ve not done it yet but hope to next year). You can watch one of my favorite teachers, Greg Scharf, talk about it here. There are still scholarships available too. Learn more and sign up here.
→ Peace is Possible: If you feel helpless or enraged at war and violence in your home, community, or in the world, it’s important to not get discouraged or indifferent. You must keep a balanced and open mind or you’ll be unable to be of use or act with wisdom and compassion to bring about change. World Healing Prayers is a website with prayers from many traditions, including the beautiful Sufi peace prayer below. I hope you’ll take time to say it or chant it to support yourself. (Note you can change the words! If you don’t believe in God, substitute Buddha or Universe instead of Lord. The intention isn’t to suplicate a divine being but rather to incline your own mind towards clarity and kindness!)
Send Thy peace, O Lord, which is perfect and everlasting,
that our souls may radiate peace.
Send Thy peace, O Lord, that we may think, act,
and speak harmoniously.
Send Thy peace, O Lord, that we may be contented
and thankful for Thy bountiful gifts.
Send Thy peace, O Lord, that amidst our worldly strife
we may enjoy thy bliss.
Send Thy peace, O Lord, that we may endure all,
tolerate all in the thought of thy grace and mercy.
Send Thy peace, O Lord, that our lives may become a
divine vision, and in Thy light all darkness may vanish.
Send Thy peace, O Lord, our Father and Mother, that we
Thy children on earth may all unite in one family.
Announcement
The theme for September is Creating a Steady Mind!
Beginning next week, every Monday you’ll receive a teaching and a guided recorded practice. It will be available to all subscribers, to help you establish and maintain a meditation practice with support from other people and me. Each month’s theme will be related to Buddhism or meditation, and each newsletter that month will have exercises and discussions to deepen your understanding of the topic.
So — make room in your schedule for practice, and make room in your heart to encourage others too! I want us to vow to use this platform to communicate, share, and inspire each another to become our best selves! I’m excited for this opportunity and for all the possibilities of this extraordinary community.
May we welcome strangers as friends and delight in our goodness. May our work together flourish. May it be so!
Take it light.
Metta+++,
Kim✨
Thank you Kim. These Sunday newsletters really set a loving tone for the week ahead ♥️