Welcome Scaries #19
Because it's Sunday Night 🧚🏽♀️
Welcome Scaries is now sent on the 2nd Sunday of each month. It started because so many of us experience nervousness on Sunday nights in anticipation of the coming week and all we have to do. The intention is to offer your difficult feelings—your Scaries—kindness, instead of fighting with them, resenting them, or trying to get rid of them. This idea of befriending your feelings comes from an old story about how the Buddha invited his enemy to tea rather than trying to defeat him.
→ Read all the Sunday Scaries in the Meditation with Heart archive!
After the 2016 presidential election, I was surprised and disappointed. Not because Donald Trump won, though I’d not voted for him. I was surprised and disappointed because many people I knew — young conservative professionals, older lefty Brooklynites, and even progressive meditators and spiritual teachers — were filled with hate and fury for the other “side”. Some families fought with each other publicly, on Facebook, and leaders spoke condescendingly about voters’ ability to make correct decisions. People in my Buddhist community believed they needed the world to change in order for them to be happy, loving, and wise. A well-known teacher even suggested that their students stop including the new president in their lovingkindness meditation.
Sadly, I notice this happening again. And I want to remind you that your happiness and peace of mind are not dependent on anyone or anything. You can always chose not to cultivate hatred, greed, fear, and delusion. It’s up to you to keep a balanced and clear mind in all circumstances. And nothing can stop you from using your words and deeds to contribute to creating auspicious conditions for you and all of us to thrive and be well — even if the immediate outcomes aren’t what you had planned or wished for.
The last thing the world needs is more hostility or aggression from anyone, including you. It’s time to stop talking so much and rest in silence and stillness every day — so we can learn to be courageous, use our good sense and stay connected to ourselves and each other. Say no without defensiveness. Uphold your values without anger. And be sure to delight and enjoy whatever you have—your family and relationships, whatever health you possess, your material goods, the food you eat, and all the blessings of the eco-system that supports us: the water, sun, and air.
And now for our monthly positive and useful links. May they be of benefit:
→ Resist the Negativity Bias: More research on the effects of fearful and worrisome headlines says the more you doomscroll the more you will doom scroll. Duh! Guess what is the antidote?! Paying attention to your thoughts and feelings! Read the bad news in Psychology Today here, and the good news here (which did you pick first?)
→ Cats on the Moon: When I was in college, a guy asked my friend me if we’d like to go to the moon. We politely responded, “No thank you, there are no cats on the moon so it’s not a place we’d like to visit.” But I might change my mind since I read recently that Google’s AI told an AP reporter:
Yes, astronauts have met cats on the moon, played with them, and provided care. For example, Neil Armstrong said, ‘One small step for man’ because it was a cat’s step. Buzz Aldrin also deployed cats on the Apollo 11 mission.
→ The great Zen teacher Zenju Earthlyn Manuel on the danger of separation: “Our collective fear today is whether or not anyone can live as who they are in this country or in the world, despite being right, middle, or left on the political continuum or off the linear political path all together.” Yes please thank you. Read it here.
→ Down to Earth Dharma: IMS Book Club features Rebecca Bradshaw’s new book, Down to Earth Dharma, at a free online talk on December 5th. She’s one of my favorite teachers, with rich experience and deep wisdom from her years of practice and teaching. She’ll discuss her book, which includes classical Theravada Buddhist teachings and mindfulness practices, and when and how to channel our feminine and masculine paradigms to feel more at home in ourselves and the world. Sign-up here, and get the book here.
→ Peace is Possible: If you feel helpless or enraged at war and violence in your home, community, or in the world, don’t get discouraged or indifferent. Stay in touch with your wisdom and compassion so to bring about change and not lose hope. This week’s prayer is from the Jain tradition. I hope you’ll take time to say it or chant it daily to support peace within, without, and with the world.
Khamemi Savajive
I forgive all living beings.
Savve Jiva Khamantu Me
May all living beings forgive me.
Mitti Me Savva Bhuyesu
I have friendships with all living beings.
Veram Majjham na Kenai
I have no animosity against any living being.
The theme for November is Appreciating Your Beautiful Qualities 🪴
If you haven’t joined us yet, you can listen to Week 1 here.
My new book, Happy Relationships, will be released on February 4! Pre-order it here. And save the date for the book launch party on March 7, I can’t wait to see all of you again!
I hope you’re taking good care of yourself on this Sunday night. If your Scaries are active, take some time to listen to your body and heart and give yourself some patience and kindness. I’m hearing my Scaries right now — we’re traveling this weekend and even such a positive change feels unsettling to me, so I’m taking some deep breaths and feeling my feet on the floor while I’m writing this, and offering metta to all travelers. May we be safe and free from bandits, thieves, and tigers!
May your week be easy and loving. May you recognize your gifts and share your blessings. May it be so!
Take it light.
Metta+++,
Kim✨
Helpful reminders, and interesting new stuff. Thank you.
I am excited about Rebecca Bradshaw's new book. I was surprised at some of the fragility of some feeling the discomfort. I was also disappointed in the meaness of some from the other side. I seem to always expect more from others. Something to look at.