Sunday Scaries #13
Because it's Sunday Night again !
It’s the May edition of Welcome Scaries! I started sharing this monthly letter because so many of us experience dreadful foreboding, creeping malaise, or maybe just a little bit of nervousness on Sunday nights in anticipation of the coming work and school week and all we have to do. It’s an invitation to offer our difficult feelings—our Scaries—kindness, instead of fighting with them, resenting them, or trying to get rid of them. This idea of befriending your feelings comes from an old story about how the Buddha invited his enemy to tea rather than trying to defeat him (you can read it in Welcome Scaries #1).
I’m still struggling to finish my new book, (read about it in last week’s newsletter), but this weekend I took a forty-eight hour break from it, and I truly didn’t think about it much at all. Several old friends came to visit, and we happily went to dinner and to a performance and took walks and had brunch. But as easily as I had let go of my worries, they returned as powerful Sunday Scaries this afternoon, almost immediately after my friends went home and I went back to my desk to work.
I felt disappointed and then annoyed. I really didn’t have time to deal with Sunday Scaries because I have too much to do, including writing this newsletter! But I was so overwhelmed that I was frozen and couldn’t really do anything.
Maybe you’re feeling this way too, or are experiencing all-pervasive anxiousness, or even fury—about your life, your family, or the state of the world. You probably want to do something to stop your Sunday Scaries, like binge watch Shōgun, or call your sister and complain about your son, or write outraged letters to the White House and your representatives. But I’m here to remind you that the first thing to do is to simply reconnect with yourself. That’s what I did. I put my hand on my heart and took a few deep breaths. I said to myself, it’s okay to feel this way. And then I got back to work. But the Sunday Scaries arose again an hour later, and I put my hand on my heart and took a few deep breaths. I said to myself, it’s okay to feel this way. And then I got back to work. And I repeat as necessary.
I hope you’ll do the same. If you meet your scaries with kindness—again and again—you’ll feel less overwhelmed, more connected to yourself, even if they don’t disappear. You’ll be better able to use your skills, talents, and resources to benefit yourself and others too.
→ Read all the Sunday Scaries in the Meditation with Heart archive!
Here’s our monthly Sunday Scaries roundup of links to help balance our minds and encourage us to remember our loving connection with each other and our eco-system Earth:
→ The kids are alright: Compassion is on the rise in the United States, according to researchers who’ve been measuring empathy levels since the 1970s. Via Vox and Psychology Today.
→ Make me one with everyone: Making mutually beneficial decisions makes us happy. Yet another study that confirms what you already know—it feels good to be generous and kind. Read here.
→ International Rescue Committee: This nearly 100 year old organization supports refugees and anyone affected by war, persecution, or natural disaster. They work all over the world, including medical aid and support for families in Gaza. Learn more here.
→ Peace is Possible:
Pith Instructions: In Buddhism, a pith instruction is an essential truth presented in the most succinct and clearest way possible. Both of these wonderful pith instructions are from recent Substack newsletters:
→ From An Irritable Métis - Chris La Tray is a poet and Métis storyteller. In addition to his weekly newsletter, he shares his monthly One-Sentence Journal at the end of each month. This is his entry for April 8, 2024:
The one-two punch of celestial magnificence and a toe dipped in deep time assures me that, while we humans have most certainly doomed ourselves far earlier than we should have, and we are taking too many beloved relatives with us, the world is nonetheless going to be just fine.
→ From Softening Time - Meditation and yoga teacher Elena Brower went to Japan with her Zen master. Visiting a temple, the abbot told them:
Whatever you’re learning, you don’t need to know what it is. Your body absorbs precisely what it needs from your food without you telling it what to do.
Okay friends, that’s a wrap for tonight’s Sunday Scaries newsletter! This silly photo is from last night at the Night of 1000 Stevies — I’m sharing it to remind you that it’s okay to be happy and to have moments of fun and pleasure. Big thanks to all the performers who were amazing!
Please post your experiences, stories and links in the comments below to help all of us create the conditions for an easy and happy work week!
May we delight in our measure of well-being and share it with our friends, our community, our enemies, and the world. May our words and actions create a healthy environment for all who live in our eco-system Earth.
Metta+++,
Kim✨
Feeling this tonight. Sometimes I think the relief and break from everything makes it so much harder to put the weight back on. Deep breaths. Hand on my heart. Feel the ground under my feet. A moment of gratitude for the weekend, my life and the chance to have another day.