Welcome Scaries #22
Because it's Sunday Night 😈
Welcome Scaries is now sent on the 2nd Sunday of each month. It started because so many of us experience nervousness on Sunday nights in anticipation of the coming week and all we have to do. The intention is to offer your difficult feelings—your Scaries—kindness, instead of fighting with them, resenting them, or trying to get rid of them. This idea of befriending your feelings comes from an old story about how the Buddha invited his enemy to tea rather than trying to defeat him.
→ Read all the Sunday Scaries in the Meditation with Heart archive!
Friends, this month’s Welcome Scaries will be a little shorter than usual because this week, I’m feeling sick. It’s nothing serious, just a winter virus, and I’ve been resting and sleeping most of the weekend. Though the physical illness is unpleasant, it’s compounded by a very common Scary — rumination. My mind’s been earnestly trying figure out how I got sick: was it from the giant upstate supermarket or in the NYC subway last week? And what kind of virus is it? Could it just be a cold? What if it’s RSV or the new bird flu or something more terrible? How quickly could I get to a hospital?
You’re likely familiar with rumination too — also called restlessness or worry — so you know that the best way to work with it is to recognize it, name it as suffering, and choose not to continue letting your thoughts proliferate. I even say gently to myself, “Kim, come back to your body,” and I take a breath, let go of the thoughts on an exhale, and sense my tired eyes and heavy limbs — and feel a bit more relaxed and easy.
So I’m going to get back in bed and practice resting now. I hope you’ll do the same if you’re sick and even if you’re not sick, too. This month’s links are below, may they benefit you and all beings.
May everyone struggling with illness be free from mental and physical suffering. May all recover easily and quickly. May all be healed. May it be so!
And now for our monthly interesting (I hope) and useful links. May they be of benefit:
→ It’s not a Marathon: I’m a fan of the current events newsletter, Today in Tabs, written by software developer Rusty Foster. He’s smart and funny and cares. He recently wrote about how he’s working with his feelings of helplessness with the decisions of the current administration. And he’s reminded himself — and us — that many powerful ways are created through our connections with others: :
Read the whole article at this link.
→ Well-being Hacks: I don’t usually like advice that purports to solve big problems without effort or diligence, but this list of expert tips (many related to mindfulness) in the New York Times is really useful and simple. Read it at this gift link.
→ Have you ever seen an armadillo’s belly?: It’s unexpectedly adorable. And soft. You’re welcome:
→ Big February News: My book was released last week — just in time for Valentine’s Day!
Happy Relationships: 25 Buddhist Practices to Transform Your Connection with Your Partners, Family, and Friends has lots of simple, loving meditations that anyone can learn—whether you’re an experienced meditator or just curious. It can help you learn self-compassion, soften your heart with the people you care about, and even say no with less anger and more kindness. I hope you’ll get a copy for yourself and anyone you know who will benefit from it!
Order at this link or from your favorite bookseller.
Join the Book Party with Sharon Salzberg and me at New York Insight Meditation Center on March 7! It’s hybrid so you can attend in NYC or from anywhere in the universe 🪐!
Tell your friends about Happy Relationships 🧚🏽♀️ ~
Many Blessings, My Friends !
Take it light.
Metta+++,
Kim✨
P.S. The theme for February is How to Have Happy Relationships. If you haven’t joined us yet, listen to Week 1 here.
Kimberly, I like the sweet advice you give to yourself when you are ruminatiing. It could help all of us to be so kind to ourselves.
Thank you for your wise words Kimberly. I know a lot about worry and rumination! Worry felt like an action, something I could use to control the outcome in some way. Never works! You’ve taught me so much and helped me see I was contributing to my own suffering. Of course I still worry and get caught up in it, and I am able to see the bigger picture thanks to your teachings and your compassionate heart.