For the longest time, my most abiding and painful suffering was a feeling of separateness—that I was isolated and alone, unable to connect with other people. I felt like I was floating out in space without supportive relationships or strong bonds with anyone, and I was often lonely and afraid. With a lot of help from therapists, healers, and through my Buddhist training and teachers, I’m much more grounded and connected to myself and others now. But sometimes when I’m stressed out or struggling, this sense of separateness arises again and it really unsettles me. And when that happens, I practice my favorite meditation, which I’m so happy to share with you today.
It’s a mandala exercise, based on a teaching by the Buddha in the Sigalovada Sutta. In Sanskrit, mandala means “circle”, and you’re probably familiar with mandalas that you’ve seen in two-dimensional drawings or paintings. But mandalas represent a three-dimensional environment. Many depict an aerial view of a palace or temple, like the one shown above. In today’s meditation we’ll build a three-dimensional field of support—our own personal Relational Mandala—that surrounds us in every direction.
This teaching has helped me realize that I live within an environment of care and encouragement around me all the time, and I know it can do the same for you. Instead of feeling alienated or lonely, you’ll see that you’re protected by invisible hands at all times, and anywhere you turn you’ll find encouragement, kindness, and love.
I hope you’ll use this teaching to rely upon all the wisdom and compassion that you’ve received and continue to receive as long as you live. And to remind yourself that you’re in many other people’s Relational Mandalas too, (including mine!), because your love, clarity, and generosity touches everyone you encounter.
Creating Your Relational Mandala
East (to your right): Parents and Parent-like people
South (behind you): Teachers
West (to your left): Spouse and family
North (in front of you): Neighbors and colleagues
Above you: Spiritual guides
Below you: Countless strangers who fulfill your basic needs; farmers, truck drivers, electric company employees, government agencies like the FDA, and so on
Happy New Year my dear ones! Meditation with Heart is now read in 49 US states and 77 countries by more than 5,000 people each month. It’s quite beyond anything I imagined! Thank you for your practice, your generosity, and your good sense.
May you be open to all that’s in your heart. May you find ease and peace with yourself and each other. May you awaken and be free. May all beings awaken and be free!
Sabbe satta sukhi hontu. May it be so!
With lovingkindness,
Metta+++,
Kim✨
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