Welcome Scaries #24

Sometimes Sunday is Thursday 😈

Welcome Scaries started because so many of us experience nervousness on Sunday nights in anticipation of the coming week and all we have to do. But lots of people have the Sunday Scaries on weeknights too! So, no matter when this newsletter publishes, its intention is help you meet difficult feelings—your Scaries—with kindness, instead of fighting with them, resenting them, or trying to get rid of them. This idea of befriending your feelings comes from an old story about how the Buddha invited his enemy to tea rather than trying to defeat him.

→ Read all the Sunday Scaries in the Meditation with Heart archive!

Last Wednesday night, after getting out of the bathtub, I heard a strange buzzing and tapping noise. Then I saw a that a very large wasp was trapped between the closed window and the screen, and was trying to get out. I thought I could help it escape by slightly opening the window, slipping my fingers through, and sliding the screen up.

But as soon as I cracked the window open, the wasp lunged aggressively toward the gap and my hand. Startled, I slammed it shut. I stood there, watching helplessly as it darted up and down, crawled along the screen, and banged the glass, desperate for a way out. I tried a couple more times to open the window, but each time, the wasp charged, and I shut it again in fear.

For the rest of the evening, I wandered in and out of the bathroom, unsure what to do. Wasps are pollinators and important to the ecosystem, and I felt sad for its suffering and the likelihood that it would die without my help. But I also realized that I couldn’t help it without risking harm to myself.

I remembered that a Bodhisattva never gives up — but that doesn’t always mean taking action. Sometimes the wisest or only choice is to do nothing for now. Even if I couldn’t free the wasp, I could still pay attention to it, send blessings, and practice lovingkindness for its safety.

The next morning, I assumed it had died. But when I checked, it was still alive — just barely moving. It looked exhausted. I opened the window a little, and it stayed still. I opened it a bit more, slipped my hand under the screen, and lifted it a few inches. Then I shut the window and left the room.

When I returned twenty minutes later, the wasp was gone — finally free. I felt such a sense of relief and gladness. It reminded me — and I hope it will remind you — that even when you feel helpless and there is nothing you can do to change a terrible situation right now, it’s always possible you’ll be able to do so in the future. So please — keep paying attention, don’t stop developing your compassion and your clarity, and continue sharing your blessings. Then, when it’s possible to help, you’ll be ready, willing and able to do it.

And now for a roundup of (hopefully) interesting ideas. May they be of benefit:

→ Global conflicts have risen to their highest levels since the Second World War. For several decades the trend was towards less violence, but after a global pandemic shook the world more conflict isn’t surprising — people are afraid, grieving, and vulnerable. I mean, 1 million people died of Covid in the United States — the most of any country — and we don’t even talk about it! So yes, war continues and won’t stop until the roots of violence — hatred, greed, and delusion — are understood and cured through wisdom, compassion, and clarity. I encourage you to continue contributing to creating the conditions for peace by developing insight and restraint, and especially by avoiding divisive speech. You can read the Global Peace Index full report at this link. Also read my previous newsletters about war:

• Creating the Conditions for Peace

• A Meditation for a Steady Mind

From Stason River Geer’s third grade project. Let’s all create a peace house! Let’s make Earth a peace house! Thanks to dear Amrita Bessin in CA for sharing this wonderfulness and big love to Stason and his classmates.

→ Some good news: New York State now offering free community college tuition for adult students ages 25-55. This is a win for all of us because the program is for careers in jobs like health care, cybersecurity, and advanced manufacturing for which we have a shortage. Learn more here.

→ Nature is amazing. (And Day 57 of this video is pretty wild.) May all birds thrive and flourish. May it be so!

→ Yes, we live in an interdependent world and guess what? Recognizing it makes us feel good. Michael Plant, a happiness researcher explains the habits and actions we can take to feel more content about ourselves and our lives, including this:

“A lot of our discussion about happiness is overly self-centered. I think if you want to live a happy life, then don’t just worry about yourself. You want to worry about making a difference in other people’s lives. We want to be connected and useful to other people.”

→ My most recent article, Wise Engagement with the World, was published last month in Mindful.org. You can read it here.

→ Important!—our first Steady, Calm, and Brave meditation is Sunday 7/13 at 9amEST. The Zoom link is below and I’ll share it again before the event too. This is the first of a new twice-monthly guided practice series, to support ourselves even when things are uncertain or scary. It’s for Paid Subscribers only, so if you’re not a member already, I hope you’ll sign up so you can join us. More info about Steady, Calm, and Brave sessions at this link.