It’s virus season here in New York City, and I’ve been struggling with a cold for the past few days. I’m not terribly sick — just a scratchy throat and sniffles and a headache—and all the symptoms are mostly alleviated by over-the-counter medications. I know this is a minor illness that will likely resolve quickly, and I feel grateful and lucky for it.
But even so, I’ve noticed that I have an overwhelming resistance to feeling sick. I don’t want to pay attention to the pain around my eyes and temples, the stiffness in my back, the heaviness of my limbs—instead, I create thoughts about how I got sick, ruminate on the troubles in the world, berate myself for what I could or should be doing instead of resting, and fantasize that I’m swimming in the Caribbean. It’s not wrong for me to have any of these thoughts — but they’re causing me to feel more tired, irritable, and annoyed with myself.
So I’ve been practicing getting closer to the unpleasant sensations of illness, and that’s what I’m sharing in today’s meditation. If you’re feeling sick I hope you’ll try it, and also use it for moments when you don’t have an illness but your body is distressed because of anxiety, excitement, or fear.
We’ll practice gentle mindfulness of our precious and fragile physical form, and we’ll use these metta phrases, too:
May I/you/we be safe.
May I /you/we be healthy.
May I/you/we rest in the truth of what’s arising right now.
And we’ll take inspiration from this wise instruction:
“Opening to pain in the present moment, we may be able to do something to improve the situation. Or maybe not. But we can certainly notice how our attitudes toward the experience are impacting what is happening. My reaction to pain, even to the thought of pain, changes everything. It can increase or decrease my suffering. I have always liked the formula: Pain + Resistance = Suffering”
—Frank Ostaseski, The Five Invitations: Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully
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