Welcome Scaries #21
Because it's Sunday Night 😈
Welcome Scaries is now sent on the 2nd Sunday of each month. It started because so many of us experience nervousness on Sunday nights in anticipation of the coming week and all we have to do. The intention is to offer your difficult feelings—your Scaries—kindness, instead of fighting with them, resenting them, or trying to get rid of them. This idea of befriending your feelings comes from an old story about how the Buddha invited his enemy to tea rather than trying to defeat him.
→ Read all the Sunday Scaries in the Meditation with Heart archive!
I’ve been in upstate New York for the past few days, enjoying the snowy weather and relaxing with a book. But after I arrived, I started to struggle with a Sunday Scary—the worry about procrastinating the writing of this newsletter! I thought to myself, “OMG I’m never going to finish Welcome Scaries on time!” and my stomach got tight and then I start to doubt myself and my work and how maybe I shouldn’t be teaching meditation and I’m not that great of a writer anyway and compared to my Buddhist teachers I’m really unrealized and — well you get the point. From one small fleeting thought, a chain reaction of suffering occurred. I bet it happens to you, too.
I’ve mentioned before that in many of the early teachings, when Mara the demon taunts the Buddha and the Buddha starts to feel doubt, self-criticism, pride, or discouragement, the Buddha says, “I see you Mara!” and Mara leaves. That’s because the Buddha disrupted his own conditioned patterns. He understood that he didn’t have to believe them and let them undermine him. And we don’t have to believe our thoughts and let them undermine us, either.
So when my Scary appeared again yesterday morning, I set down my coffee, closed my eyes, and instead of following the same pattern of negative self-talk, I said to myself with a smile, “I see you Scary!” And I also said, “I trust myself to take care of the newsletter tomorrow, so I don’t have to worry about it right now.” And I relaxed and went about my day — and when it happened again I did the same thing again. And again.
So please remember to practice seeing your Scaries too. You can say “I see you” or you can say “I love you”. You can also imagine reaching your palm out and up and gently saying “Stop.” You’ll probably have to do it again and again too, and that’s okay — you’re not trying to stop Mara from visiting you, but rather to acknowledge her as soon as soon as she appears, welcome her, and know you don’t need to believe a word she says.
Last month’s poll revealed that 50% of you report feeling the Sunday Scaries every week. What do they feel like? Let us know in today’s poll, and share your Sunday night stories at our Meditation with Heart Chat, too!
And now for our monthly interesting (I hope) and useful links. May they be of benefit:
→ Mysterious Cats: I’m fascinated by snow leopards, the elusive and resilient creatures who live above 9,800 feet in the Himalayas. Because of their remote habitat, they’re rarely seen by humans, and they have especially long and flexible tails (like tightrope walkers) to help them keep their balance. Plus extra large nostrils to help them breathe at high altitudes. You can see a rare video of them playing on a mountain in the Kibber Wildlife Sanctuary in India and Tibet here. (And if you haven’t read it, Zen master Peter Matthieson’s book of the same name is amazing.)
→ Free CD Book Giveaway: I still have a couple CDs left! The audio version of Navigating Grief and Loss was released in the autumn, and the publisher sent me five copies of it on CD. But I don’t know anyone who has a compact disc player anymore! If you have one or know someone who does and would like a copy, email me and I’ll send one to you.
→ Environmental change begins with Intention: I was with a Tibetan friend this week, and she described the recent earthquake in her country and the fires in Los Angeles as “elemental disasters” — disturbances related to the forces of nature that affect everyone on Earth. I encourage you to take a moment to simply take in the enormity of the suffering and confusion that elemental disasters cause before you do or say anything, so you can align your actions with your values. You can offer a simple blessing or prayer, or just be silent, and you can take inspiration from Pope Francis’ September prayer intention, which is “Hear the cry of the Earth”:
"If we took the planet’s temperature, it will tell us that the Earth has a fever. And it is sick, just like anyone who’s sick. But are we listening to this pain? Do we hear the pain of the millions of victims of environmental catastrophes? The ones suffering most from the consequences of these disasters are the poor, those who are forced to leave their homes because of floods, heat waves or drought. Dealing with the environmental crisis caused by humans, such as climate change, pollution or the loss of biodiversity, begs responses that are not only ecological, but are also social, economic and political. We must commit ourselves to the fight against poverty and the protection of nature, changing our personal and community habits. Let us pray that each of us listen with our hearts to the cry of the Earth and of the victims of environmental disasters and climate change, making a personal commitment to care for the world we inhabit."
Winter Blessings, My Friends !
May this week be easy and loving for you. May you recognize your gifts and share your blessings with those in need. May it be so!
Take it light.
Metta+++,
Kim✨
P.S. The theme for January is Why Am I So Hard On Myself. If you haven’t joined us yet, listen to Week 1 here.
The Scaries get me every week. I usually spend Sunday relaxing and by early evening I start to feel anxious like I should have done more. You’ve helped me to be able to sit with these feelings.
P.S. The snow leopards were spectacular!
Enjoyed this one so very much, thank you Kimberly!